And I'm bad at blogging...
I'm tired, so this might not make tons of sense because I don't think I'll give the whole backstory of how I came to this thought... but whatever. I'm thinking about it, and I cant sleep until I get it out (drives me nutz that my head works that way!)
I'm bad at this blogging thing... and its irritating me a little. So I was thinking about why that is, and I know why. It's because my relationships with people are always one-on-one... always! I've never had a "group" of friends. I always get together with friends one-on-one. Coffee, lunch. Catching up for hours at my house or there's. Thats why I've never gotten into myspace, or facebook, or blogging, but I do great with e-mail. And it's not like I share a different part of myself with each person, because I thought about that. I don't hide things, I tell everyone in my life the same stuff.
I guess it's just that I taylor my conversations with people to them specifically.
So what's the point? Nothing really, I guess. Except I cant help but feel like I'm missing out on something. Because one-on-one friendships are great, but I only have the energy to maintain a handful of those. If I kept in contact with everyone I ever cared about in that way I would go crazy. So what happens? People fall through the cracks, because I just cant maintain that many friendships in such a personal way, and I can't bring myself to change the way I am with people. I've had tons of really close friends I've lost track of... and it makes me feel like maybe I've been a bad friend, but I dont know how to be different. The people who have remained in my life know me really well on a personal level. And I didn't think I was a private person, but I dont know, I guess I kind of am.
Blogging is such an efficient way to keep tons of people involved in your life... and I totally suck at it! What the heck!
I dont even know if that expressed my thought fully... Probably didn't, because again, I struggle to put my feelings out there in one public burst. Whatever. I guess that's it for now.
Blah.
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I have the opposite problem. I go around thinking SURELY everyone I've ever known wants to hear all about my every thought and whim! lol! I'm a freak, though, and I know that's not actually true. ;)
ReplyDeleteIf it helps, I love reading what you write, and I check your blog all the time just in case you've written again! Muah!
Well it's good to hear that at least you enjoy my blog Aubrey, because you're like the only one who ever reads it. lol.
ReplyDeleteBut whatever. I'll (try to) keep blogging anyway. Just for myself, and for the fun of it.
Aubrey is not the only one who reads it! I read it! Just bad about going back later sometimes to leave comments or checking frequently enough! LOL
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