Girl World.

Today when I was browsing facebook I noticed something that really stood out to me to the point where I feel I have to share my opinion about it. I have chosen not to share this opinion on facebook because it's rather detailed and that forum is really more about the one liner opinions. I think starting a debate about this topic on that site probably wouldn't accomplish much. That being said, I do feel strongly enough about it that I think I should put my thoughts out there, somewhere, so I've decided this will be the place.

A girl I know had a post on her account today which said that she likes a page titled "I'm a girl but I'd rather hang out with boys because it is less drama!!!!!"

I really think it is a sad day when the value of female friendships is degraded to the point where this kind of a statement is supported by so many women. More than two thousand people like this same statement. It seems to me this concept perpetuates a social standard that we, as women and as human beings, should not "like."

Now I'm not saying that I expect every girl to get along, because I don't. That is completely unreasonable. But it is unreasonable in the same way that it's unreasonable to expect ever person to get along, regardless of sex. In personal relationships there will always be conflict and everyone will come across other people in their life that they don't like. Even still, I think we should stand up and recognize the other women around us for what they are: strong, passionate, intelligent human beings. This idea that "girls are dramatic" is self loathing. Yes, women tend to be emotional. And yes, this trait can lend itself to dramatic behavior. But it can also lend itself to creativity, compassion, strength and understanding. Why do we constantly insist on focusing on those negative aspects of ourselves rather than the amazingly positive ones??? And yes, I know, not every girl is going to get along. But don't say "I don't like girls because they are dramatic", or even "I don't like that girl because she is dramatic." I think it should be recognized from a point of "she and I do not connect; we are not kindred spirits."

I'm aware of the comeback to me saying this idea is self-loathing. The thought is "well it's not self loathing because I don't think that about myself. That's the point: I'm not dramatic, only other women are." Well my point is that if you are a woman and making a statement that generalizes women it is impossible to separate yourself from that no matter how much you think you can.

Beyond being self loathing, I think this statement of "I'm a girl but I'd rather hang out with boys because it is less drama" gives the implication that a woman's value comes from her ability to acquire the affection of men. I may be reading too much into it here, but when statements like that are made I hear "well I'm a guys girl which makes me better than someone who guys don't want to have around." Absolutely there is nothing wrong with getting along with men, but to place so much stress on that paints a negative picture and destroys the balance of self-worth. Self-worth, based on your ideas and dreams and opinions, based on your self, not based on whether men enjoy your company or not (or you enjoy their's). Words carry energy, and whether this facebook statement is intended to make an outright statement about the value of a man's attention or not is irrelevant to me because I think it definitely carries that energy with it.

And we are doing all of this to ourselves with these statements about girls and their "drama."

I think as a society we could all benefit from a little more self-editing when it comes to our speech. With facebook and twitter and all the other communication avenues that have become so easily accessible we're all of a sudden able to put a massive number of ideas out there with very little effort. It's like communication diarrhea: "I like this, and this, and this, and this, and this!" All of a sudden you've just made five statements linked to your ideas and opinions about the world around you in the same amount of time it took you to take a single bite from your bologna sandwich. I say slow down and think about what the things you say (and yes, "liking" something on facebbok is saying something!) actually mean.

I truly think that we as women should make a greater effort to value our female friendships rather than launching this all out civil war.

And that's my two cents. (Well, maybe a little more than two)